Being A Good Bridesmaid:
On A Budget
Friends + Weddings - $$$ = AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!
A few years ago, I went thru that phase where all of my friends were getting married… and I was just trying to get by. It was getting to the point that I stopped dreading going to the mailbox because of the bills that would be in there, and I started dreading going to the mailbox because of the wedding invitations that would be there. My biggest fear became the registry list. The thing I hated most in life became bridal showers. It was bad.
When I got my lucky/unlucky 13th wedding invitation in 6-months, I decided that I had to do something. But what? It’s hard to say no to a person that you have known since you were 2, especially if they ask you to be in the wedding party.
So what to do?
Start by making a plan. Ask the bride what she is expecting from you. If you are the maid-of-honor, especially, you will most likely be asked to throw a shower for the bride, and that can get costly.
And remember, if you live out of town, you will need to add transportation costs and hotel bills in. But talk to the other members of the wedding party – maybe you can car-pool, and save a few bucks.
Here are a few things you should plan on spending money on:
Dress
Shoes
Hair
Mani-Pedi
Bachelorette Party
Shower
Shower Gift
Wedding Gift
The Dress. First off, you know the dress is going to cost a lot. Try to set aside $200 off the bat for the dress. If it costs less, you have extra spending money for other expenses. If it costs more than that, you at least have the bulk of the cost covered. Also, you may need special undergarments, depending on the style/color of the dress.
The Shoes. Some brides make everyone wear the exact same shoes, but if the dresses are floor length, ask the bride if you can just wear the same color/style shoes. Or if the dresses are shorter, ask the bride to pick out some shoes that are in your budget. If she’s a good enough friend that she asked you to stand in her wedding, she’ll understand.
The Hair. This can cost an average of 30-60 dollars (plus tip!), especially if you have long or hard-to-work-with hair. If you are good at doing fancy hair dos, ask the bride if you can do your own hair, and show her in advance what it will look like. She might just agree to let you. If she wants all the bridesmaids to have the same style, talk to the stylist, and she may be able to cut you a deal on the price, since the whole group is getting their hair done.
The Mani-Pedi. Lots of brides want their bridesmaids to have matching manicures and pedicures – another thing that can cost you between 10-30 dollars for a manicure, and 20-50 dollars for a pedicure. Find out what the bride wants done (e.g. French tips, solid color, etc) and the exact color. If the town the wedding is in has a beauty college, it will probably be cheaper to get it done there. Or call around until you can find a good deal, then suggest to the bride that you all go there.
The Bachelorette Party. Ask the other bridesmaids to pitch in, and host a small “girls night in” at your home. Have everybody BYOB, and pitch in a little cash for snacks. A few games and chick flicks are always a good night of fun. Or if you want to get a little more wild, call your local hot-spot, tell them you are bringing in a bachelorette party, and ask if they can set up some specials and reserve a table for your group. Then, offer to be the designated driver (that will save you a few bucks on drinks).
The Shower. If you are throwing the shower, there are a few ways to save some cash. Hold it at someone’s home, not a hall or restaurant. If you do it at 10am or 2pm or right after dinner, then all you need are some hors d'oeuvre and a homemade punch. Hold it at noon, and people will expect a full lunch spread. Again, ask the other bridesmaids to pitch in. If one of them is an awesome cook, ask her to bake a cake. Is one an artist? Have her do the decorations. Put one of the bridesmaids in charge of the invitations. And have everyone that comes bring a favorite recipe. Buy and inexpensive photo album, dress it up, and put recipes in it (including a few of your own) for a nice, thoughtful gift from you and the bridesmaids.
The Gifts. You can give awesome gifts without spending a small fortune. A homemade gift is always welcome. How about a scrapbook with pics of you and the bride? Or crochet them an afghan. Do they already have kids? Offer to baby-sit for a weekend. If they’re moving into a new house, how about hiring a neighbor kid to cut their lawn or shovel their snow for a 6-months? If you really think about the couple, you’ll be able to figure out what they will like.
Remember, being in a friends wedding can cost you a fortune, but just follow these tips, and it can cost you less.
*Tonya Steinmetz-Haze (a.k.a The Savvy Bridesmaid) has been in more weddings than she can count. She currently resides in Columbus, Indiana with her goldfish, Hat Trick. Got a question, comment, or snide remark? E-mail The Savvy Bridesmaid: savvy@columbusareaweddings.com
