Dear Savvy Bridesmaid,
I am getting re-married. I really want my and my
sister's children involved. I have an 8-year-old
daughter, and my son will be 7 three weeks after
the wedding. I also have a 5-year-old niece and
a 10-year-old nephew. I was thinking about
having my daughter as the jr. bride and my son
as jr. groom. And then having my niece as flower
girl and my nephew as an usher. Neither my
fiancé nor I have any small boys in our families
to be a ring bearer. Therefore we decided not to
have one, because we feel my son is too big and
would be embarrassed. Do you think this
arrangement would be appropriate? We really
don't want to embarrass anyone, including
ourselves, by putting the children in
inappropriate roles. Thanks for your advice in
advance!
~ C.W. in Seymour
Dear C.W.
A lot of people have problems when it comes to
having people participate in their wedding. The
key is to remember that it is your day – what
you want, you get! I love the idea for having
your niece be a flower girl, and having your
nephew as an usher. You might want to consider
having another usher as well, someone older that
can help your nephew get everyone seated
properly.
As for having your daughter and son be the
“Junior Bride” and “Junior Groom”, I have to be
honest - it is something that I had never heard
of until I first moved to this area. It is
appropriate, so you can do it. But if you decide
to dress them as “Junior Bride” and “Junior
Groom”, I would suggest having a note in your
program as to why they have that particular
role. Many people that do the “Junior Bride” and
“Junior Groom” thing use it as a way to show
that while your children are the most important
people in your life, you are now adding another
person to that list… your spouse.
Personally, I prefer the children as junior
bridesmaids, and junior groomsmen. To signify
that they are more than just a member of the
wedding party, consider having them dressed
slightly different that the others. For example,
if your wedding party is dressed in black and
white, why not put your kids in silver? Or have
your daughter carry a special bouquet, and have
your son in a different color tie.
One thing that I have seen that I think is
lovely is having the children be a part of the
candle lighting ceremony. Have a candle for each
child, as well as for your fiancé and yourself,
and have all of you light the candle together to
signify the family becoming one. It’s
particularly nice if you have the
minister/priest/cleric of your choice say a few
words about it.
Just remember, no matter what you choose to do,
it’s important to have the kids involved in your
wedding, or they will feel like they are being
edged out of the family.
Have a
question or comment for the bridesmaid?
Let her answer all your questions!
*Tonya Steinmetz-Haze (a.k.a The Savvy Bridesmaid) has been in more weddings than she can count. She currently resides in Columbus, Indiana with her goldfish, Hat Trick. Got a question, comment, or snide remark? E-mail The Savvy Bridesmaid: savvy@columbusareaweddings.com
